Hello Philrules

Welcome to PCHF
Since you are a paying customer of AOL and the problem you are having is related specifically to the AOL software, it is probably your best bet to contact AOL for support...since that is what you pay for.
The one thing you can do to narrow down where the problem lies is to try to connect your unit to a different wireless network just using the built in Windows network connection tool. If that has no problem connecting, then you can be sure the AOL software is causing the problem.
One warning however is if AOL installed some sort of wireless connection utility. If it disabled the Windows wireless management service, then you are going to have to disable AOL and re-enable the Windows service to give you a real answer. I don't think AOL installs any kind of Wireless connection utility though...
To answer your question about the wireless adapter...any wireless adapter should work with any internet service. You are not connecting directly to AOL with your wireless adapter. You are connecting to your router with your wireless adapter, and your router is connecting to AOL. So if it is going to be any hardware related problem, it is going to be your router is not set up correctly. You should be able to get guided support from AOL on how to properly configure your router for use with AOL. If not, your router manufacturer may be able to help you with that. Check their support website for instructions on setup with AOL or contact them directly.
Hope that helps!
