[Syphon]

Heres one:
Theres an irishman, an englishman and a scottsman. They are all trying to break into a car. A police car pulls up and after a short chase arrests them all. On the way back to the police station, the police officer asks them for their names. The englishman looks out the car window, looks at the shops and replies, "Marks Spencer". He then asks the scottsman. He too looks out of the wondow and replies, " i am W H Smith". "Okay", the police officer replies. "And you?" he says pointing at the irishman. The irishman looks out of the window, then back at the police officer and says, "I'm kentucky Fried Chicken!

It's a good one after a couple of drinks

[Pgh]

Definiton for Windows 95

A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell running on top of an eight-bit operating system written for a 4-bit processor by a two-bit company that can't stand one bit of competition.

[Hengis]

Hehe..good.

Yay! the Jokes thread is back!

[Pgh]

lol, I have a feeling that ones a bit old though.

[GaRHaR]

haha gold.

might be old, but i've never seen it before

[madmatt2006]

Hope this is not to rude

A man walks into a bar and sits down right across from the bartender. The bartender sees the man poking at his hand and putting it next to his ear, and asks him, "What are you doing?
The man replies, "Oh, it's the newest technology -- I have a phone built right into my hand." The man puts his hand next to the bartender's ear and, sure enough, the bartender hears a dial tone.
After a few drinks, the man goes into the bathroom. The bartender notices that he has been gone for almost a half-hour. Concerned, he goes into the bathroom to check it out. When he walks in, he sees the man with his hands on the wall standing with his legs apart and pants down. He has the end of a roll of paper towels shoved up his ****. Shocked, the bartender yells, "What are you doing?!"
The man groans and replies, "I'm waiting for a fax."

[micro_man]

This doesn't really work when written down, but it's one of my faves:

Why did the baker's hands smell?

He kneaded a poo (needed)