[Spaceman3750]

You can live in the Midwest where...

[font=Arial][size=4][color=#800000]1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

You have no idea how true this is...

Central Illinois: We have more corn and beans than anywhere in the world, and our attempted suicide rate due to boredom is just as high!

[slowride66]

AND You can live in Florida where..

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. And a superb plastic surgeon.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and snowbirds.

You don't know how true this is too!!

Around here it used to be a rural community now this place called http://www.thevillages.com/ That & on top of Ocala Florida was voted the "All American City"
PPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffff!!!!!

What used to be cow Fields are now wall to wall blue hairs & golf courses!
My wife calls The Villages "Gods waiting room"

Hey space man wanna trade?

I probably couldn't handle the cold, but I sure
could enjoy the W I D E open spaces knowing I wasn't being watched every time I go out to water the drive way


SR66

[Spaceman3750]

The cold isn't all that bad, it gets worse up in Wisconsin (MMM, Cascade Mountain: Some of the best midwest skiing out there).

LOL, I'll take Florida, I love Pensacola, Destin, and the rest of the panhandle .

[slowride66]

I love this area I Just wish all these damn Yankees would go home.

LOL

{Whats the difference between a Yankee & a damn Yankee? a Yankee comes to visit for a few weeks & a damn Yankee cames & buys a house & stays ,going around saying stuff like "well up north we do it like . . . . ."}
This is a locals joke

I'm a transplant myself but I been here most my life.



SR66

[Hengis]

Tech Jokes: THE COMPUTER HELPDESK PHONE SERVICE
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
******
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet..it's still on my desk... Sorry...
******
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
******
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
******
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...
******
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah...................Thank you.
******
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
******
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
******
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
******
A customer couldn't get on the Internet
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
******
Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
******
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
*******
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

[Hengis]

This one has been around a long time but it's still funny all the same:

1. go to http://www.google.com
2. type 'failure' in the search box
3. Hit the 'I'm Feeling Lucky' Button

...funny result!!