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The Lounge - The Jokes Thread posted in the Community forums; ROFL SR, that's halarious ....

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  #55  
Old 04-21-2006
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ROFL SR, that's halarious .


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  #56  
Old 04-29-2006
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Unanswered Questions


1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the
"Jags,"
and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," then what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at *******.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, then why ! aren't people from Holland called Holes?

7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

8 If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

12 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen
can look for them while they deliver the mail?

19. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

24. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells:"THEIRS"?


  #57  
Old 04-30-2006
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Originally Posted by spellbyte
Unanswered Questions


18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen
can look for them while they deliver the mail?
I like it!


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  #58  
Old 05-01-2006
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19. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
OH MY!!! are you a long lost alter ego???
lol too funny !!!!


A married couple was in a terrible accident where the
woman's face
was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft
any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the
husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would
have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed
that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and
requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a
very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the
woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had
before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her
youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion
at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything
you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see
your mother kiss you on the cheek.



SR66


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  #59  
Old 05-01-2006
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ROFL slowride, that's good .


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  #60  
Old 05-02-2006
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haha, a mother in law joke, i love it


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