Life in IT Support.....
Quite sarcastic, but it really is true.....
When you call us to have your computer moved or replaced, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stick-it notes, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
Don't write anything down, ever. We can always play back the error messages from our video recording.
When an IT person says they?re coming right over, go for a coffee or a smoke. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's doesn?t matter too much as we can easily remember 300+ screen saver passwords.
When IT Support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once without reading it, we're probably just testing.
When an IT person is eating lunch at their desk, walk right in and spill your problems right out. We don't even like eating food. We are android based and exist only to serve.
Send all urgent e-mail?s all in UPPERCASE. The mail server spots this and treats it as if it came from the Queen.
When we do something as a favour in our own time at our own expense, feel free to criticise us.
That's ok, we don't expect you to lift anything or get under your desk. Manual labour and dirty knees was part of our IT degree.
When the photocopier doesn't work, call IT Support. It runs on electricity anyway.
When you're getting a error message on your PC at home, call IT Support?s mobile, if this isn?t answering use one of our personal numbers, we?ll be glad to rush to your aid as long as it?s before 3 am.
When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an IT person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a good puzzle the same as anyone else.
When an IT person tells you that your computer screens looks the way it does because the Red gun has failed it does not mean it needs a new cartridge. Although feel free to argue the toss.
When an IT person tells you that he'll be there as soon as possible, make sure that you reply in scathing tone of voice: "And just when that will be exactly?" That motivates us the best.
When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 15 times, after all print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes. When the printer still won't print after 15 tries, send the job to all the printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.
Don't learn any computer related terms. We know exactly what is meant by "nothing is working".
When you call someone in to fix a problem - don't tell them about the other 10 problems until they physically arrive. That's OK - we can clear our schedule for the rest of the day.
Don't use on-line help. On-line help takes too long to read, and it?s hard.
When your application misbehaves or won?t do what you want... blame us and tell us in no uncertain terms how you feel We are entirely responsible for all of Bill Gates? releases and know them inside and out. We can re-write anything, anytime, anywhere.
Remember the IT person doesn't need time to think ? they have seen every problem before, even the new ones.
If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 20 kg of computer sitting on top of them.
If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the recent mail/NT/network upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.
When you find an IT person on the phone, sit uninvited on the corner of their desk and stare at them until they hang up.
Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know anything about that computer ****." Or ?since you messed with my PC last time?? We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as **** and messing around
When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call IT Support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a Master's degree in nuclear physics.
When you think the network/e-mail/office application is going slow, call us as we have a special button to press that makes it go back to it's normal speed instantly.
When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know about the problem.
Did you know that if you call us on our mobiles - we can see what's happening on your screen and can solve it instantaneously.
Be aware that IT people don't need to use the toilet. So you have a right to be upset if we don't answer the phone.
When you receive a 30 megabyte movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.
When an IT person gets in the lift pushing ?100,000 worth of computer equipment on a trolley, ask in a very loud voice, "Hey, can you get Sky on that?" followed by some hearty laughter.
And finally, always remember.... we were sitting there waiting for your call.. The whole day!!!
It's true, it's all true!! 
Linear Mode
